EPIC ILLUSTRATED #31

“The Seed and the Sower”

Writer: Jon J. Muth

Artists: Jon J. Muth & Kent Williams

A genetically designed son kills her mother.

“Cobalt 60: Part VII”

Writer: Larry Todd

Artist: Mark Bode

Strontium 90 and the aliens are attacked by Cobalt and his Croc army. Cobalt kills Strontium and they find out Cobalt is the rightful heir to Radio City.

“Mediaview”

by Dennis O’Neil

An article on Woody Allen

“Futureview”

by John Robert Tebbel & Martha Thomases

An article on new stuff.

“Beyond Legend”

Writer: Archie Goodwin

Artist: Victor de la Fuente

A man rides into a western town and kills the evil man running it. It is found out that both hero and villain and lived and will live many more lives to give people their legends.

“The Sword of Sh’rlii”

Writer & Artist: Paty Cockrum

The elves give a woman her beauty.

“Wah, Wah, Wah”

Writer & Artist: Zoran Vanjuka

In the future bounty hunters hunt a serial killer and try to rescue the mayor’s son.

“Bookview”

by Jo Duffy

Review of A House Like a Lotus by Madeline L’Engle and graphic novel collection of Modesty Blaise.

“Year 20”

Writer & Artist: Marc Hempel

A man trapped on a moon of Jupiter has hallucinations.

“Toadswart: Part V”

Writer & Artist: Tim Conrad

Toadswart tries to stop the golem and gets captured by the lord of the manor.

“Time of the Dragon”

A preview of new graphic novel by John Bolton.

“The Last Galactus Story Chapter Six: The Hidden Stars”

Writer: John Byrne

Artists: John Byrne and Terry Austin

Galactus goes to find out what is destroying the Milky Way Galaxy.

This was another mixed bag. I loved the Galactus story even though it was too short. The Beyond Legend was a really good one with excellent art. Year 20 was also good. The only good thing about Cobalt 60 was it ended this issue. Everything else did not appeal to me.

WHAT IF #43 CONAN THE BARBARIAN WERE STRANDED IN THE 20TH CENTURY

“What if Conan the Barbarian were Stranded in the 20th Century?”

Writer: Peter B. Gillis

Artist: Bob Hall

In this alternate world, Conan didn’t get hit by lightning on the roof of the Guggenheim Museum. Instead, he was arrested and taken to jail. He escapes and starts to learn the new world and language. He starts as a thief but then forms his own gang called the Barbarians. He decides to rob a museum and an alarm is tripped. He fights Captain America and both gain respect for one another. Cap lets Conan go and he ponders calling him.

I was very pleasantly surprised to find this issue in the old comic boxes of a comic shop. I loved the one where he visited the 20th century and having a sequel where he stayed brought joy to my life. It handles his stay in our time as a logical way Conan would handle it. He learns and makes mistakes. His first mugging he discards the paper money because he doesn’t understand modern money. There was a hilarious scene where he visits his girlfriend Dannette dressed as a pimp with a leopard. Conan forms his own gang of black guys. Fights Captain America and debates joining him. Sort of foreshadowing the more recent Savage Avengers. Ends with a hint of making this an ongoing What If storyline. The Watcher says there would be two outcomes to Conan deciding to call Captain America and not calling. Too bad nothing more came of it.

“Behold”

Writer: Mark Gruenwald

Artist: Jack Abel

Dr. Strange finds himself in his universe only everything has been destroyed and it is all white nothing. He finds the Silver Surfer and Phoenix as the only other individuals. The find the Ultimate Nullifier and Strange uses his powers to find out its story. A powerful cyborg named Kovacs tried to take over the universe and had it stolen from Galactus. He destroyed the universe when all the inhabitants rose against him. Strange and his companions want to use it to restore the universe, but the universe pleads for them to let the universe die. They agree and Silver Surfer and Phoenix leave to find a new universe they can call home. Strange stays to guard the destroyed universe.

This bonus story was a weird one. I enjoyed it and it was also a fun story.

THE CIMMERIAN #1 IRON SHADOWS IN THE MOON

“Iron Shadows in the Moon”

Writer and artist: Virginie Augustine adapted from story by Robert E. Howard

Olivia is a slave girl escaping her cruel master, Shah Amurath. Amurath catches her at the reeds next to the Vilayet Sea. Only he also finds Conan the only survivor of the Kozaki. Amurath slaughtered his comrades, and he wants revenge. Amurath is no match and quickly gets killed. Olivia implores Conan to take her with him. They get in a boat he found and row out to sea. They find an island and fresh fruit. Only a large slab of green rock is hurled at them. Something too big for a normal man to throw. They also find an abandoned temple with sinister iron statures inside.

“Shadows in the Moonlight”

by Robert E. Howard

The first part of his story under the name it was first published as.

This Conan story is one of my favorites. I remember as a kid having the big treasury comic from Marvel. I loved the mysterious atmosphere of the deserted island and abandoned temple. This adaptation is so far sticking very accurately to the original story. It is also getting three issues to properly give it room to fully tell the story.

LEGENDERRY RED SONJA

“Untitled”

Writer: Katana Collins

Artist: Kewber Baal

Red Sonja steals a painting of a naked girl. The girl’s friend hired her to save the woman in question embarrassment from her parents. The girl is very sick, and Sonja finds out that her friends are also sick or already dead. They too posed for the artist. Sonja sees a connection and confronts the artist, Dorian Grey. Sonja finds out he uses a special paint mixed with a poisonous flower. They go to the makers and find out they are robots and Sonja has to destroy them. Only they were working for Grey. He uses the paint to steal the lifeforce of young women to remain young and handsome. Sonja stabs the ugly self-portrait, and this ages Dorian Grey and saves the young women. She tosses the young painting into the sea.

This was a one shot of the series set in a steampunk world. Sonja may be in a Victorian era type world but still Sonja. She is still a warrior and all-around bad ass. I loved this story that included another fictional character. The art was also stunning. I loved this Kewber Baal and look forward to seeing more of his work. In fact, I hope they do more of Legenderry Red Sonja series in the future. A unique and fun universe to explore.

CAMELOT 3000 #12

“Chapter Twelve: Long Live the King!”

Writer: Mike W. Barr

Artists: Brian Bollard and Terry Austin

Arthur and his knights continue the assault on the castle. Galahad sacrifices his life to detonate their ship and blow the alien army away. Tristan manages to defeat her foe. Lancelot through possible divine intervention survives the attack of Mordred. Enough for Mordred to be thrown against Merlin who is the son of Satan. When he touches the Grail armor it explodes. Merlin is free and transports everyone except Arthur back to Earth. Arthur use Excalibur to set off a nuclear explosion and thus destroying Morgan Le Fay.

The survivors gather on Earth and start to rebuild. Tristan decides to embrace lesbianism. Guinivere finds out she is pregnant and hopes it is Arthur’s. Tom leads the rebuilding of London. On an alien world, a fleeing alien finds Excalibur in a stone and pulls it out.

The end of this Maxiseries was quite satisfactory. Arthur sacrifices his life to destroy Le Fay. Didn’t know Excalibur could cause a nuclear explosion but what the hell this is a comic. The survivors find peace and somewhere the cycle starts all over on another world. This was a very eighties series and with Bollard’s beautiful artwork it was a joy to read.

EPIC ILLUSTRATED #30

“The Last Galactus Story: Chapter VI”

Writer: John Byrne

Artists: John Byrne and Terry Austin

Galactus feeds on the Earth. Nova manages to save the last city and a robot to hopefully find answers to what happened to her planed. Galactus then decides to go to the center of the Milky Way where the force destroying galaxies is located.

“Cerebus: Selling Insurance & The Girl Next Door.

Writer: Dave Sim

Artists: Dave Sim & Gerhard

Cerebus intimidates a group to pay him money. He hits a small girl on the head with a rock to get her attention.

“Infinity”

A portfolio of fantasy artwork inspired by rock albums.

“Cobalt 60: Part V”

Writer: Larry Todd

Artist: Mark Bode

Cobalt tells how he befriended General Hisstory as a child. They gather to attack the alliance of the aliens and Radio city.

“Bookview”

by Jo Duffy

A review of Miss Manners’ Guide to Rearing Perfect Children by Judith Martin and two books by Douglas Adams. So Long and Thanks for All the Fish, and The Meaning of Liff.

“Unicorn Autumn”

Writer: Archie Goodwin

Artist: Alix Berenzy

A unicorn fights off trolls who are stealing a statue.

“Mediaview”

by Dennis O’Neil

An article of vigilantism in movies and review of Starman.

“Futureview”

by John Robert Tebbel & Martha Thomases

An article of premature births.

“The Sign”

Writer: Jo Duffy

Artist: Kent Williams

A samurai in ancient Japan takes revenge against those who wiped out his village.

“Dreadstar: An Epic History”

An article of Jim Starlin’s creation.

“Graphic Novel Preview: The Raven Banner”

Writer: Alan Zelenetz

Artist: Charles Vess

A Norsemen’s journey to Hel.

“Journey to Outer Earth”

Writer & Artist: Rick Geary

Some underground dwellers explore the surface and settle in a city.

“Toadswart: Part V”

Writer & Artist: Tim Conrad

Waxworth unleashes his Golem.

“The Fix”

Writer & Artist: Pepe Moreno

A man goes to a devastated Earth to bury a man and finds cannibalistic mutants. He wakes up as a mutant and finds he was in a drug induced sleep.

This issue shows the decline of this magazine. I only like the Galactus story and The Fix. All the others were boring or downright dumb. I loathe Cobalt 60 which seemed to go on forever. Lots of padding with previews of other properties they decided to advertise.

WHAT IF #13 CONAN THE BARBARIAN WALKED THE EARTH TODAY?

“What If Conan the Barbarian Walked the Earth Today?”

Writer: Roy Thomas

Artists: John Buscema and Ernie Chan

The Watcher tells the story of a different outcome to one of Conan’s adventures. While prisoner of the wizard Shumash in Akbitana, he was going to be lowered into the Well of Time. He escaped but in this alternate version he falls in. The well takes him to July 1977 New York. There he finds himself in a strange city with punk rockers, police with guns and crazy old bag ladies. Escaping the police he runs into Danette who drives a cab. She helps him and takes Conan to her apartment.

There the big blackout of 1977 occurs because of Conan’s arrival. He has to fight off hordes of looters. In a picture book he recognizes the Guggenheim Museum as being similar to the ziggurat from his time. They go there and find it being robbed. After Danette is shot Conan kills all the robbers. Dannette survives and Conan gets to the roof where a bolt of lightning takes him back to his time.

I remember getting this when I was a kid. I was really excited to see a story with Conan in our time. Now of course modern Marvel did take him to contemporary times but having him in 1977 New York was a novel thing at the time. There was a lot of enjoyable humor in this issue. Conan’s reaction to punk rockers and modern art. There was a reference of someone mistaking him for Schwarzenegger years before Arnold played Conan in the movie. Roy chose a believable way to transport Conan to our time. Interesting it stated that Conan was responsible for the blackout so in a sense we are living in the alternate reality. Also didn’t really alter Conan’s story much. Sort of a side trip for him. This is one of my favorite comics.

THE CIMMERIAN #3 THE FROST-GIANT’S DAUGHTER

“The Frost-Giant’s Daughter”

Writer & Artist: Robin Recht adapted from story by Robert E. Howard

Conan is almost dead from his chase of Atali. Atali tells Conan of her origin and then has her two brothers come to take Conan’s heart. Only Conan refuses to give up and kills the two giant polar bears. Atali calls on her father to rescue her which he does. Later the Aesir find Conan. They don’t believe his story until they see the gossamer veil he took from Atali.

Well, this was a short issue. Lots of big artwork to pad the story out. The art was ruined by the choice to cover it with Tom Tom which I guess was meant to symbolize some drum pounding. The author also decided to substitute giants for polar bears. Plus, some more padding about Ymir’s origin which wasn’t in the story. I have no idea why they decided to stretch out the shortest Howard Conan story into three issues. One of his longest was given three and suffered for not getting the room to develop. Marvel and Dark Horse only needed one issue and did it much better.

THE INVINCIBLE RED SONJA #10

“The Invincible Red Sonja End”

Writers: Amanda Conner & Jimmy Palmiotti

Artist: Moritat

Sonja has brought princess Zaria back home. Only the kingdom has been pillaged and most of the subjects killed including the king. This was the work of a fearsome bandit named Blackwing. Sonja and friends go after Blackwing to rescue the queen and other captive women. Sonja requests a meeting with Blackwing which is granted. Sonja stabs him and takes over the horde. She fights the challengers and the rest decide to leave and go home or join Zaria’s kingdom. Zaria and Ederak get married, and Sonja rides off for more adventures.

The ending was a bit of an anticlimax. Sonja had no trouble at all in defeating Blackwing which made for little excitement. The authors of this in an interview stated they wanted to channel Roy Thomas in their writing. It is very debatable if they accomplished this, but I do appreciate the intent. A strange story that meandered all over the place. Yet it was interesting, and I have no regret reading it.

CAMELOT 3000 #11

“Chapter Eleven: War!”

Writer: Mike W. Barr

Artists: Brian Bollard and Terry Austin

On Earth the UN director is framing Arthur as the one who killed the world leaders and now abandoned Earth to side with the aliens. Arthur and his knights are on the tenth planet and get approached by peaceful aliens. They take the group to their queen who gives birth to all the aliens. She wants Morgan Le Fay killed because she has changed many of her children to serve Morgan. Arthur joins forces with this rebellion and attack the castle. Lancelot knocks out Arthur so he can lead the attack. He is obsessed with recovering the Holy Grail. He fights Mordred and loses. Tristan also fights a monster of a former lover created by Le Fay and also looks like she is losing.

This issue does a good job of setting up the big final. All the storylines are coming together nicely. Arthur seems to be losing control a bit. There are two cliffhangers where major characters seem to be losing their lives. I am excited to see how this all ends.