VAMPIRELLA RED SONJA #12

“Untitled”

Writer: Jordie Bellaire

Artist: Drew Moss

So after the fight where Vampirella takes Blue Baby with her into the volcano, Sonja is a bit depressed. So she goes back to the village and settles down. She meets another woman and they get married and have kids.(Have no idea how that was accomplished.) Because Sonja is a vampire she doesn’t age and her wife dies of old age. We find out thought that vampires do age only very slowly. For many years later Sonja is an old woman telling her story to the witch that is a mouse. The witch takes old Sonja back to her hut and she tells that this was to make Sonja a better person. Now she is going to set things back to before Sonja found the Generation stone. Sonja then finds herself back in her time among her gang. She boldly proclaims that they won’t take women captive and she frees the old witch. Back in 1969 Vampirella has trouble with a cassette player and is investigating the mysterious deaths in Russia.

Good God was this story a heaping pile of shit. I guess if your writing shit you should go out big. What a dumb stupid ending. They just go back like it never happened and why?? Sonja asks why when she is going to lose her memory and doesn’t get an answer. What was sad was this series started out OK. It had a story that looked to have potential. Only it continued to go down hill until this pathetic garbage. Obviously Jordie is not a competent writer which sadly is the problem with most comics these days. Two characters I enjoy were vandalized for no apparent reason.

VAMPIRELLA RED SONJA #11

“Days of Yore.”

Writer: Jordie Bellaire

Artist: Drew Moss

Sonja and Vampirella are wandering in the desert when they hear bells. It leads to a small village. A funeral is taking place in the temple. One of the villagers recognized Sonja and want to repay her for fighting off pirates in his last village. At night Blue Baby takes over Vampirella and many of the children. Seems he has been doing this for some time with the village’s children. Sonja follows the brainwashed group to the fire mountains and confronts Blue Baby. Blue then has the mind controlled Vampirella attack Sonja. Vampi bites her on the neck and this brings her back in control. Vampirella tackles Blue Baby and they go over a cliff.

Another one in a series that seems pointless. The whole plot just meanders aimlessly along. It has some real poor dialogue and very pathetic reasons that Blue Baby is able to mind control Vampirella. So Vampi manages to break the control and tackle Blue Baby. A cliffhanger I honestly have no interest in seeing how it ends but I have the final issue so next week I will find out. See if the last issue somehow redeems this series and ends on a high note. But I doubt it.

VAMPIRELLA RED SONJA #10

“Drakulon.”

Writer: Jordie Bellaire

Artist: Drew Moss

Sonja and Vampirella are fighting each other and Sonja wins. She makes Vampirella admit that Sonja is the bestest evar. After the fun little tussle there is a feast in Sonja’s honor. She is given a gold ring that she puts on her wrist. This transports her back to Earth and she is with her former followers. Then Vampirella comes and the monsters that they fought attack. Sonja reveals herself to be a vampire and this scares her old followers. Sonja gets upset and wishes she never meet Vampirella. They have another fight with lots of talking about their feelings. They turn into bats and chase each other before hugging exhausted.

So any coherency that was established last issue is thrown out the window. What the Hell is going on. This had to be the most dumbest issue I ever read. Not just in this series but comics in general. The level of incompetency is truly a stunning sight to behold. Be warned that I think you will lose brain cells after reading this.

VAMPIRELLA RED SONJA #9

“Way Way Back”

Writer: Jordie Bellaire

Artist: Drew Moss

Sonja wakes up on Drakulon and finds that Vampirella is in a coma. Vampirella also has a daughter named Valeria. Sonja also finds out that Drakulon is suffering some kind of disease. Sonja has Valeria take her to the source of this sickness which is in a forest. There they are attacked by some huge creature with multiple blue eyes. Sonja recognizes it as a god of pestilence. They barely escape with their lives. Later back home Vampirella comes out of her coma and reveals that to save Sonja’s live she turned her into a vampire. Sonja is actually happy and uses her newfound vampiric strength to take on the giant god creature.

So now Sonja finds herself on Drakulon and there is this Lovecraftian type god creature that is destroying Drakulon. Vampirella apparently has a daughter who is a bit timid. Sonja is now a vampire and is able to take on this god. Yes there is all sorts of stuff just being thrown into the plot and hoping it will stick. I will say that this issue was a bit more coherent that the last few but that’s not a high bar.

VAMPIRELLA RED SONJA #8

“NYC 1920”

Writer: Jordie Bellaire

Artist: Drew Moss

Red Sonja is looking for the missing Vampirella. She continues to work with the corrupt cops and has the talking rat as a guide. One night they go to a club and the main act is Vampirella. She is under the mind control of Blue Baby. The entertainment is interrupted by gangsters busting in with guns blazing. Blue Baby has these strange mulit-eyed creatures attack everyone. Sonja tries to get him and ends up pulling down the balcony he is on. Blue Baby goes to finish Sonja off but something happens. There is an explosion and Vampirella and Sonja are unconscious grasping hands. It switches to Sonja waking up in bed and Vampirella telling her she is on Drakulon.

OK so I guess the writer must think the plot isn’t any of the readers business. What the hell is going on? This series is really becoming a mess. Not a fun mess either just a mess. I dare someone to find some type of coherence in this story. Well we are now on Drakulon somehow and I guess stuff will continue to happen. Lets see next week if something starts to make sense.

VAMPIRELLA RED SONJA #7

“Blue Baby”

Writer: Jordie Bellaire

Artist: Drew Moss

Sonja and Vampirella are confronted by gangsters in 1920’s New York. They easily manage to overpower them and take their clothes. Vampirella finds a note in the jacket with a time and place so they go to check it out. Along the way Sonja gets hungry and finds a rat to eat. Only this rat can talk. It is the old witch that originally had the Generation Stone. The two find out the gangsters were meeting some corrupt police. They are working with someone called Blue Baby that uses kids to brew illegal alcohol. Blue Baby is actually some kind of demon that is mind controlling the kids. He sends the kids to get the Generation Stone. When Vampirella chases after them, she is knocked out by the mind power of Blue Baby and taken prisoner. Sonja finds the stone abandoned and no Vampirella.

Well the story has moved into 1920’s New York. Once again it is really weird. I mean why in Hell is Sonja going to eat a rat raw. She can’t be that hungry. Luckily the rat can talk so it doesn’t get eaten. So for no apparent reason they are in New York. Beat up some gangsters and go to meet some corrupt cops. They work with a demon who controls kids and makes moonshine. Yeah this makes perfect sense. Well there are some more issues so it might start making sense.

VAMPIRELLA RED SONJA #6

“Frightening Horrible Ridiculous Amazing”

Writer: Jordie Bellaire

Artist: Drew Moss

The Generation Stone show both Vampirella and Red Sonja each others lives. After Sonja watches Vampirella’s live she finds herself in medieval England. Vampirella is there dressed as a nun and has apparently been there a while. She tells that they are now in the middle of the Great Northumbria Dragon War. That some evil magician turned himself into a dragon and now destroys villages because he’s evil I guess. Anyway Sonja decides to save as many villagers and she rescues various children. At the end both are then transported to 1920’s New York and confronted by Tommy gun wielding gangsters.

Well this was one weird issue. I really don’t know what the hell is going on. They give us a recap of Sonja and Vampirella’s stories that were told in the last two issues which seems like a waste to me. Then they are in some dragon war and Vampirella is a nun. Sonja decides to save people without killing any dragons. Then they time jump to 1920’s New York. If you are confused by this then join the club. Hopefully we get some more clarification in the next issue.

VAMPIRELLA RED SONJA #5

“This Crazy Planet”

Writer: Jordie Bellaire

Artist: Drew Moss

Vampirella has just arrived on Earth and settles in New York 1969. She loves the punk scene and goes partying every night. Has lots of wild sex. One day a girl she was dating goes missing and Vampirella investigates. It leads her to a sex slave trafficking ring. She attacks it at the docks late at night and tears apart the thugs. Only her girlfriend is terrified of her after she reveals herself to not be quite human.

Another story that takes us back to before Vampirella and Sonja met. This time a solo Vampi story. It was OK but to be honest nothing really special. It was short and like the Sonja story didn’t really tell us much. What I didn’t like is it never told us why Vampirella is in Russia or what brought her there. Another mediocre issue.

VAMPIRELLA RED SONJA #4

“Magical but not Magic”

Writer: Jordie Bellaire

Artist: Drew Moss

Sonja is in the Hyborian age with a gang of bandits. They all love Sonja but there is one voice that mocks her. An old woman who was accused of being a witch. Later at night she turns into a fox and manages to run away. Only one of the bandits hits her with an arrow. Sonja tracks her to a mysterious cottage. Inside is all sorts of stuff from the future like signs and appliances. She finds the old woman dying and comforts her. The old woman gives Sonja a magical gem and tells her it will help her in the future.

This issue is an origin of how Sonja was transported to 1969. A much needed entry but unfortunately it was very dull. I mean nothing happened in this story. Sonja’s gang are just a little too obsequious for a bunch of hardened barbarians. Also why is Sonja with this bunch of rejects from Deliverance. She is usually a loner. So anyway all that happens is this old hag gets shot with an arrow. Sonja finds her and apologizes profusely for what happened. Then I guess she gets transported to the future which is something that will help Sonja. Hopefully the story gets better.

VAMPIRELLA RED SONJA #3

“Furious & Magical”

Writer: Jordie Bellaire

Artist: Drew Moss

Vampirella discovers that Soviets are conducting experiments on her people from Drakulon. This really gets her pissed and with Sonja the two attack the security guards. Vampirella finds out that the Soviets some years ago on a mission to Mars met with some explorers from Drakulon. They discovered that the Drakulon’s blood could enhance humans so they captured them to transfuse their blood into humans. Only the humans went nuts and this is the origin of the disappearances of hikers in the mountains. Sonja uses the Generation Stone to set the place on fire. It’s magical properties starts a very powerful fire that quickly spreads.

So the Soviets had people on Mars back in the mid-sixties. Well I suppose that the first Vampirella comic had astronauts from Earth in 1969 visited Drakulon. I guess in the alternate reality of Vampirellaland both the U.S. and Soviets had a more advanced secret space program. This was an enjoyable issue. Sonja gets to have fun causing destruction. Vampirella gets to lose her temper and tear up some people and cause a little destruction. Both characters seem to be bonding and I am curious were the story is going. Plus I enjoy the art. The two women look beautiful.