“The Gate”

Writers: Val Semeiks and James Owsley

Artists: Val Semeiks and Alfredo Alcala

Conan is in the desert looking for water. He decides to raid a Ghamud oasis. He kills the guards and manages to make it inside the structure. Only the Ghamud then trap him in a garden. They claim Conan must kill their death god to escape. The god will be disguised as something he would be reluctant to kill. Conan first gets attacked in the garden by a tiger. Then he is attacked by a raptor. Finally, he comes on a baby boy. Could this be the death god? Conan refuses to kill the baby and instead climbs his way out of the garden. He finds no Ghamud around and escapes back to his horse with water. At the end the death god was revealed to be a small turtle.

This was an interesting story. Had some nice artwork with this epic looking structure of two giants sitting on a throne. The adventure in the exotic garden battling exotic creatures. Another slow single-issue adventure to let the readers have a leisurely return to Conan’s wandering.


“Family Reunion”

Writer: Troy Vevasis

Artist: Aleksandar Jovic

Mr. Crescent is being transported to the prison in Fancy Town. His thugs manage to stage an escape. He goes to the Great Seer, a guy in a hut wearing horns. The Great Seer gives Mr. Crescent the ability to summon the ghost of Mr. Crypt’s father. The next day Mr. Crypt and his friends are gathered at his home to play cards. The mailman delivers a letter that informs him his father was seen in the forest. Naturally Mr. Crypt and friends go to check this out. He does find his father but is trapped in a mystical circle. Mr. Crescent then opens a portal to the underworld. His friends try to save Mr. Crypt, but he gets sucked in. Baron Rat gets so angry he knocks Mr. Crescent into the portal. The portal spits out Mr. Crypt. He takes his father to be reunited with his mother.

This is sadly the last issue of Mr. Crypt according to Alterna. That is a shame for I really enjoyed this character. He is so lovable, and all his friends are lovable. Thankfully they went out on a high note. Mr. Crypt is reunited with both parents. The evil Mr. Crescent gets sent to the underworld where he belongs. A really fun series make with kids in mind but as an adult I enjoyed it immensely. Hope the character comes back in some form.



Writer: Sarah Hoyt

Artist: Madibek Musabekov

Barbarella and Vix get a new ship from the Brotherhood. They go on to the ocean world of Escantado where the nannites came from. Only the evil people behind this manage to sabotage her ship. It melts when it comes in contact with water. The ship quickly melts when it lands on the ocean. Only Barbarella and Vix manage to somehow breath underwater. They get rescued by underwater aliens. They are friendly but work as slaves for the Bosses. The Bosses make them mine dangerous radioactive material. Barbarella finds out that the aliens are poor people kidnapped and gengeneered to the environment. Barbarella and Vix destroy the operation. They find out that the head of this operation is The Lady, and she looks exactly like Barbarella. Ends with Taln miraculously coming back.

This was a fun issue. Plenty of goofy action on this strange alien world. We get a glimpse of the main villain, and she is exactly like Barbarella. There are still many unanswered questions from this story. In addition to the Barbarella clone, we never find out why she and Vix can breathe underwater. Nor do we know why Taln came back from being obliterated last issue. The artwork is still beautiful and the writing engaging.


“Nosh and Barry and Eddie and Joe”

Writer: Garth Ennis

Artist: Jim Lee

Four British veterans go to Scotland for a fishing trip. They talk about their experiences and share picture. The lieutenant share the fact that they were given an experimental drug during the Persian Gulf war. It heightened their abilities and blocked their moral judgement. He offers them the chance to continue and they agree


Writer: Miles Gunter

Artist: Marcelo Frusin

An artist is captured by the VC during a battle. He is spared to draw pictures of the VC captain and others. One day they find a picture he was working on of him using a flamethrower on the VC. He is about to get executed when a napalm attack saves him.

“The Isihlangu”

Writer: Chuck Dixon

Artist: Quique Alcatena

During the Zulu war a warrior gets a magic stone from the medicine man. It will make him invincible to any man. Only at the battle he is killed by the young boy with a pistol.

“The Spoils of War”

Writer: Robert Rodi

Artist: Frank Taran

Menelaus the king of Sparta enters Troy after it has been sacked. He remembers all the brave warriors that died to achieve this. He comes to claim Helen and finds during these ten years she has become an old hag.


Writer: Bruce Jones

Artist: Paul Pope

A man is in a house after some type of apocalypse. He keeps the place clean, but the cockroaches continue to grow. They eventually chew his body to pieces.

“Esprit De Corps”

Writer: Greg Rucka

Artist: Danijel Zezel J.

A green beret reminisces about a battle in Vietnam. Him and his buddy are the only survivors and are rescued by the spirits of past American soldiers. He takes his buddy dying of cancer and shoots him. The soul joins the spirits of the American soldiers.

“A Prayer to the Sun”

Writer: Edvin Biukovic

Artist: Darko Macan

A young woman preys to the sun to bring her man back. We see pictures throughout history of wars. Finally at the end they are reunited.

This final special of Weird War was definitely weird. I have to admit I did enjoy all these stories. They had something unique to offer. The Vertigo run was a mixed bag. Some were brilliant. Some Ok and some just bad. I did miss having the Spirit of Death introduce the stories like he did in the original series. Otherwise, a worthy effort of Vertigo.


“The Decapitating God”

Writer: Charles Dixon

Artist: Ernie Chan

The Shemish city of Shusan gets reports of the return of the Decapitating God. The king decides to send his champion to kill it or appease it with a sacrifice. The sacrifice is his number one harem girl. Conan is leading the Zuagirs and gets reports of this caravan. He goes and follows it in hopes of it leading to treasure. They caravan goes to the mountain where the giant spider lives. Conan does find treasure but has to battle the giant spider that takes people’s heads so it can use them to lay eggs.


Writer: John Arcudi

Artists: Armando Carillo and Gerry Talaoc

Thieves ambush a young man at night in the City of Wonders. The guard try to stop them, and they take the man captive. Once away they kill the man and then have to face the wrath of King Kull.

This was a fun issue. Another Dixon/Chan story for the main one. This involving a giant spider and the various intrigue of a caravan to stop it. The second was a solid Kull story. A fun and relaxing read on this Christmas morning.


“War & Peas”

Writer: Peter Milligan

Artist: Duncan Fegredo

An old veteran has to go shopping with his wife nagging him about not forgetting the peas. Along the way he sees some punks vandalizing a war memorial. So, he gets his Luger and takes them prisoner. He puts them in an old air raid shelter. He gets back and his wife nags him about forgetting the peas. He angrily goes to get the pea and we find out he is pissed that his friend died, and he got stuck with the girl they were wooing. He gets so angry he has a heart attack. He finds out he was in a coma for a month and the punks he tied up probably starved to death.

“Bad Day on the Sajo”

Writer: Neal Barrett, Jr.

Artist: Phil Winslade

A Mongol warrior in Hungary finds himself the last survivor of a battle. The voice of this grandfather motivates him to continue. He runs into an army of Hungarians and gets killed.


Writer: John Ney Rieber

Artist: Danijel Zezelj

Some guy that lives out in the country comes to the local general store. He plays some chess and gets upset when tourists come by. He goes home and shoots a squirrel.

This issue had a good first story. It was weird and had a quirky ending. The other two are just garbage. The Mongol one was kind of dumb. The third one I honestly have no idea what it was about. Not the greatest ending for a limited series. We will look at the final special issue and see how that ends.


“The Warrior’s Way”

Writers: James Owsley and Val Semeiks

Artists: Val Semeiks and Alfredo Alcala

Conan enters the strange narrow house to track the escaped Ghamud tribesman. This is the same type of place he encountered in Vanaheim in his youth. He wonders if this place has the same treasure that he saw in the one in Vanaheim. His explorations lead him to the young Ghamud who is wounded and wants to be killed to die a warrior’s death. Conan cares little about the warrior and leaves him after not getting any information from him. He finds the treasure room but has to battle these giant insects. The battle causes the place to collapse. Conan escapes in time with enough treasure to keep him in wenches and wine for quite a while.

The second of this two-part story gives us a satisfactory ending. It is nice to get some fun standalone stories of Conan having a fun adventure. It has all the elements. A mysterious crypt. Giant monsters and treasure. A welcome change for the more intense plots that have recently dominated the series.


“New Toys”

Writer: Grant Morrison

Artist: Frank Quitely

A toy soldier finds himself taken from battle and put in a pink dress with a blonde woman. He escapes and is captured by other toy soldiers. They court martial him for cowardice and execution by firing squad. He dies insisting he knows the truth and that the new toys are the threat.

“Sniper’s Alley”

Writer: Joel Rose

Artist: Eric Cherry

In 1994 Sarajevo, a Croat sniper hunts his Serb brother-in-law who is also a sniper. He gets him but his former wife is backing her brother and kills him.


Writer: Paul Jenkins

Artist: Geoge Pratt

A British officer in WWI is ordered to take his men across no man’s land. Only he is forbidden to run and must march. The officer debates disobeying orders and ordering his men to run. He dies with his men still mentally debating this.

This issue had three good, interesting stories. If there is a complaint it is that the last two didn’t have any type of supernatural or other weirdness to justify their inclusion.


“The Wrath of Mr. Crescent”

Writer: Troy Vevasis

Artist: Aleksander Jovic

Mr. Crypt has invited his friends Bigfoot and Mr. Carlisle to visit his mother. During the visit they notice that the forest is on fire. Bigfoot goes off and Miss Carlisle goes after him. She does tell Baron Rat to take Mr. Crypt to the shack. He does and they find an old WWI FT-17 French tank. It is in bad repair but Baron Rat fixes it up in no time and even gives it a fresh paint job. He also manages to paint his picture on the turret. Mr. Crypt figure out how to drive it and off they go.

They arrive in time to find the evil Mr. Crescent in a German WWI tank. He has started the fire to burn down the forest because well I guess he is just evil. The two tanks have a battle with Mr. Crypt managing to maneuver behind him and destroy Mr. Crescent’s tank. He is taken into custody for his evil ways and sent to the town jail. Mr. Crypt and friends win the day and save the forest.

Another fun and lovable story with Mr. Crypt and friends. This one had the cool idea of a tank battle. How these tanks came about in an isolated part of 1920’s America? Don’t know but who cares. Nice to see that his mother now has friends to ease her lonely live. A fun lovable story with a simple message.


“Looking Good, Feeling Great”

Writer & Artist: David Lloyd

Danny Coogan leaves home with his guns for the range. After that he goes on a killing spree. He comes home and decides to shoot his mother. The police with an army helicopter eventually track him down. All of this is intercut with a woman in a fitness video saying that anything is possible.


Writer & Artist: Peter Kuper

The President signs a declaration of war. The pen morphs into a missile that nukes a city.

“The Elopement”

Writer: Joe R. Lansdale

Artist: Sam Glanzman

A Union soldier arrives at Andersonville Prison. He makes friends with Carl and two others. They band together against the “Do as they Pleases”. A group of prisoners that steal and prey on other inmates. During a storm the prisoner Bill finds out that Carl is actually a woman. She enlisted by pretending to be a man. Her name is Carol and she and him fall in love. They plan to escape by digging a tunnel and get married. Only the “Do as they Pleases” attack them and kill Carol. Bill goes nuts and builds a body from a barrel and bones of Carol. He releases her soul that she gave him in a bottle. Carol goes and takes revenge on the “Do as they Pleases”.

Like any anthology it can be a hit and miss. This one had two stinkers in the first two stories. They were preachy and honestly not very good. The third one on the other hand was excellent. Of course, it was a Lansdale/Glanzman story. It had a solid story with some decent art. A gritty realism to it like many of Lansdale’s work. In fact, this story made the whole issue worth reading.