BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA OLD MAN JACK #12

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Writers: John Carpenter & Anthony Burch

Artist: Jorge Corona

The big final battle between Jack Burton and Lo Pan. Jack’s luck still holds out and he escapes Lo Pan and grabs the god killing gun. Only the kick hurls him on the back of a toad demon. As the hordes start to overrun Heaven, Esmerelda the pufferfish points out to Wang that she would have to honor any request made by Lo Pan. Lo Pan hears this and requests a mechanism to control all existence. She grants him a throne.

Lo Pan then kills Esmerelda and goes to the throne. Only Jack also gets there and they both are sitting on the throne. Jack takes Lo Pan on a trip down memory lane and shows him their past. Jack shows that even though he screws up he still wins because he has friends. He asks Lo Pan to remember when was the last time he was happy. Lo Pan can’t and comes to the realization his life has been meaningless. So the two become friends and return to the fighting. Lo Pan halts it and apologizes. Thunder is still around and throws the god killing knife which plunges into Jack’s chest. The only way to save Jack is to sit on the throne and have him think of his most happiest moment in life. This will freeze him in the moment. Jack thinks back to the time he left Gracie. Only instead of leaving he comes back and kisses her.

The end of this awesome series was very satisfying. If you know Carpenter his endings usually, if not necessarily unhappy, they are somewhat ambiguous in being a happy ending. He must be getting sentimental in his old age. This was a very happy ending. The happy ending that you were expecting at the end of his movie but didn’t get. I could see this being made into a movie. Kurt Russell and most the cast are still around. This would be a kick ass sequel in a time where we get all this woke bullshit sequels to beloved franchises. If your a fan of the movie are just good writing then I highly recommend this series.

BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA OLD MAN JACK #11

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Writers: John Carpenter & Anthony Burch

Artist: Jorge Corona

Jack is in Heaven and meets Gracie and also finds his truck. The truck is what really gets him excited. So his reunion with Gracie turns a bit awkward when he finds out she is married. To a guy who won the Noble Prize for making a serum that prevents puppies from being sad. Jack also meets some old friends from the movie. They don’t have much time as Lo Pan and his demons are attacking the gates of Heaven. The angels won’t do anything since they are forbidden to interfere in man’s affairs and technically Lo Pan is still a man. Nor will the warriors in Heaven help because they have become complacent over the years.

Jack has his friends gather the old street gang the Chang Sing who fought Lo Pan back on Earth. Jack also makes a deal with the pufferfish Esmerelda. He gives up his soul so he can get weapons for his truck. So he drives out with guns blazing. Yet Lo Pan destroys his truck and is about to kill Jack when his friends come to the rescue. The Chang Sing come through the gates while behind come the Army of the Beast from Earth.

Jack in Heaven. What a cool concept. So this issue we get Gracie back. She is wonderful and not surprising she found someone. There is some sadness that he lost her but Jack manages to fake it. We get other characters from the movie and a big fight. Jack gave up his soul to delay Lo Pan enough for the army to arrive. A really big final for the final next issue. This has been some excellent writing.

BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA OLD MAN JACK #10

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Writers: John Carpenter & Anthony Burch

Artist: Jorge Corona

Lo Pan has joined forces with Ching Dai and has won. Jack is now stuck back in his Florida exile. A defeated man which makes Lo Pan happy. He shows Jack the severed head of Wang and opens a crevasse which swallows Winona and Miao. Lo Pan then goes to conquer Heaven. Jack gets a visit from the ghost of Egg telling him that it is all up to him now to save Heaven. Soon after Thunder appears to torture Jack. He tries all sorts of fiendish tortures but they have no effect. Jack is too depressed. Jack does offer to let Thunder kill him if he will tell Wang’s army to assault the Tower of Skulls. Thunder agrees and then breaks Jack’s neck.

Jack finds himself at the Pearly Gates but has to pass the gatekeeper who weighs the life of a soul. Starts out good for Jack until they get to him lying. He has told only the truth one out of seventy-three times. Then he started hitting on girls and discovered porn or as Jack says, “Porn discovered me.” He does get to the eighties and Jack saving the world. Only later he caused the apocalypse but that was for love. At the end the scale is equal which drives the gatekeeper nuts. Jacks does right for the wrong reasons and wrong for the right reasons. This contradiction explodes the gatekeeper’s head. Jack takes the key and enters Heaven.

He meets a giant puffer fish type creature who is the assistant. When he finds the gatekeeper dead he goes after Jack. Jack finds Wang in the waiting room waiting for his family. He tries to get him to help him in defeating Lo Pan. First though Wang introduces Jack to someone who has been waiting for him.. Gracie.

This has got to be the best issue of this series so far. Jack Burton in Heaven. It has some of the funniest humor I have ever read. It sets up this big battle coming for Heaven. It also introduces Jack’s old flame from the movie. This is a very creative story and I look forward to see how it ends.

BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA OLD MAN JACK #9

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Writers: John Carpenter & Anthony Burch

Artist: Jorge Corona

Thanks to Jack and his deal, Ching Dai is at his weakest. So the gang attack him in his stronghold. Everyone is to fight his minions while Egg uses his book of spells to bring Ching down to normal size. Egg succeeds but unfortunately Ching manages to blow a hole through his torso. Lo Pan comes up with some kooky plan to pretend to attack Jack so Ching uses his strength to save him since Jack is his flesh bridge to Earth. Mei manages to stab Ching and kill him. It looks like the gang won. But Ching’s spirit convinces Lo Pan to embrace him. Now Lo Pan is the flesh bridge and kills Wang.

This was a fun entry in the series. A lot of funny dialogue as the gang take on Ching Dai. Lo Pan has some fascinating observations on the whole set up. Jack is his dumb self who somehow manages to come out on top from sheer dumb luck. Jack actually manages to defeat Thunder by beating him with Egg’s book. So at the end Ching dies and it looks like they win. But of course Ching isn’t that easy to kill and joins forces with Lo Pan. A fun and enjoyable story.

BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA OLD MAN JACK #8

“Untilted”

Writers: John Carpenter & Anthony Burch

Artist: Jorge Corona

Egg has found out from his book that the only way to defeat Ching Dai is for Jack to die. So he takes him aside and explains what he must do. Well instead of taking the offered angel’s blood to kill himself, Jack knocks out Egg and takes the book. He once again uses it to summon Ching Dai. The deal he makes with him is that he will not kill himself if Ching brings back Wang’s wife and daughter. Meanwhile Lo Pan and Wang find Egg and revive him. They go after Jack and find the blood wall his ceremony erected. They use negative energy to break through and find Miao and Winona brought back to life. They figure out that Ching got them from Heaven which still exists. Only this is bad for now Ching has a bridge to Heaven and can now conquer paradise. So Jack and friends get ready to once again confront Ching Dai and save everything.

This was a fun issue. So Jack gets Ching to bring back Miao and Winona who are the wife and daughter of Wang. We find out Heaven is still around and in danger. There is this whole speech that Lo Pan gives on how dangerous Jack is because he is the stupidest man alive. That he is the god of uselessness and gods are hard to kill. This series really has a lot of humor and heart to it.

PLANET OF THE APES GREEN LANTERN #6

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Writers: Robbie Thompson & Justin Jordan

Artist: Barnaby Bagenda

Sinestro has arrived wearing a green power ring. He manages to neutralize the Red Lantern leader. Only with the recent death of Zira has Cornelius been driven mad. Using the Universal Ring he powers up to destroy the world. Dr. Zaius suggests to Hal Jordan that maybe the protectors that the Green Lantern’s wear could be used on Cornelius. So they band together and slap all their protector bands on Cornelius. This works and Cornelius is weakened enough for Sinestro to grab the ring. Dr. Zaius manages to use a yellow strap to restrain Sinestro. Cornelius grabs the ring and flies off the Earth. Then he sacrifices himself by causing a massive explosion to destroy himself and the ring. Later the Green Lanterns take their prisoners and leave with a vague promise from Dr. Zaius to make peace with the humans. Only at the end it is revelated that Grodd is still alive and a captive of the apes. Cornelius wakes up and finds himself in Metropolis on the other Earth.

So this series ends with Cornelius on Earth and Grodd a prisoner of the apes. They did leave the possibility of a sequel which I kind of doubt will happen. I liked this series in that it was well written and drawn. It tried to stay true to both universes. Somehow it just didn’t really click with me. I think that these two properties were never meant to go together. Not sad that they didn’t give it a good shot but I don’t think anything further should be done with this. It stands as a good try but you never know.

BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA OLD MAN JACK #7

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Writers: John Carpenter & Anthony Burch

Artist: Jorge Corona

Centaur with Knives pretends to have captured Jack Burton and company to get let into Ching Dai’s place. Before they can continue on, Thunder appears and kills Centaur with Knives. Jack Burton picks a room to run into and it is filled with ghost children. Luckily they distract Thunder and his demons for them to escape. They manage to make it to where Egg Shen is being held and free him. Once free with the book he transports them somewhere safe. Only the book is locked and Thunder has the key. So Jack convinces them to send him back to talk Thunder out of the key. Jack actually manages this but before he gets the key Lo Pan and the others appear and kill Thunder. They get the book and Egg finds out to defeat Ching Dai they must kill the flesh bridge or otherwise known as Jack Burton.

Well things don’t look to good for Jack. Looks like he has to die to save the world. This was another fun issue. They manage to free Egg and find out how to defeat Ching Dai. Jack is his typical dumb self who still manages to blunder his way to success. There was this scene that shows all the guys in the group with their special powers. They get to Jack and it is just mullet. A fun and humorous story.

PLANET OF THE APES GREEN LANTERN #5

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Writers: Robbie Thompson & Justin Jordan

Artist: Barnaby Bagenda

Grodd has taken over the minds of the ape army and the Red Lanterns. Now he wants the Universal Ring that Cornelius has. Naturally he refuses and with his friends start to fight Grodd’s mind controlled allies. Soon the Green Lanterns come and a big fight ensues. Grodd seems to be captured as the Green and Red Lanterns fight it out. Only Grodd was using this time to gain full control of the mutants. With their powers he manages to break free and take over everyone except Cornelius. Grodd threatens Zira to get Cornelius to surrender. As he is about to , Zira kills herself to prevent this. Cornelius angrily lashes out at Grodd and fries him. The fight begins again between the Greens and Red when Sinistro arrives.

Well this wasn’t a bad issue. We get plenty of drama with the big one of Zira sacrificing herself so Grodd can’t take over the world. The issue has a flaw of some superhero comics in that it just gets into an endless free for all between many different characters. Still I have interest in the story and seeing how it resolves. Which we will find out in the next final issue.

BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA OLD MAN JACK #6

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Writers: John Carpenter & Anthony Burch

Artist: Jorge Corona

Jack Burton finds himself being tortured by a centaur with knives when Thunder comes along to take over. Thunder releases Jack but Jack soon finds out that his fiendish torture is much more subtle. He shows Jack how old he is getting. That Jack has no friends or family to show for a long life. This does get Jack down but he recovers. He taunts Thunder about his being a slave to Lo Pan and his brothers. Thunder starts to blow up again. Jack then sees Centaur with Knives and commands him to attack. Centaur with Knives is impressed by Jack’s confidence and obeys.

Meanwhile the demon in charge of torturing Lo Pan is finding this hard. Lo Pan is actually turned on by being rejected by a woman. He has been immortal and pain doesn’t work. Nor does he have any family or friends to torture. So the pig demon shows him nothingness. This terrifies Lo Pan but he takes a page from Jack Burton and sucker punches the demon. Then kicks him in the balls. Lo Pan escapes and runs into Jack. The two find Pete the demon that serves Wang. They find Wang in his hell of watching his wife and daughter killed by Jack Burton. Jack comes up with the idea that to defeat Ching Dai they need Egg’s book of spells. From the Centaur with Knives they find out that the book is in the Tower of Skulls. It is being used to torture Egg by being just out of his reach.

This was a very interesting story. We get to see some vulnerability on the part of Jack. Lo Pan is picking up ideas from Jack. There was plenty of humor in Jack’s attitude but also from Lo Pan who will not be kinkshamed by anyone. Anyway the three reunite and find a way to defeat Ching Dai. We also find out Egg Shen is still alive. This is a very enjoyable series.

PLANET OF THE APES GREEN LANTERN #4

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Writers: Robbie Thompson and Justin Jordan

Artist: Barnaby Bagenda

We start with a young Green Lantern being chosen to take the Universal Ring to the Planet of the Apes. Yet she finds out that the Guardians won’t let her return and she dies in the nuclear war. This is the skeleton that Zaius takes Sinestro to. The skeleton has a shield to the Universal Ring and a full powered Green Lantern ring which he uses. Hal Jordan and his companions hide from the fleeing ape army. They find the Green Lanterns all unconscious. They revive and give Hal a shield which gets his ring working. Meanwhile Zira, Milo and Nova didn’t stick around because Zira is anxious to find Cornelius. They find him and his mutant army with their new rings. Cornelius gives the three each a ring with the plan of giving all humans and apes rings to break the cycle of destruction. Only at the end they are confronted by Gorilla Grodd who has mind controlled both the Red Lantern corps and Ursus’s Gorilla army.

So right off the bat we get a clear explanation for the skeleton from last issue. Not really sure how she got so neatly put in a tomb after a nuclear war but we do get why the skeleton is there. Also that it gives Sinestro some power that he lost. Hal reunites with his fellow Green Lanterns and gets his power back. Zira finds Cornelius who is clearly under the universal ring’s power and is converting everyone. It ends with Gorilla Grodd being the main baddy in charge. The story is well told and makes stuff clear for someone like me who isn’t real familiar with Green Lantern. Plus it has my interest to continue reading on.