Writers: John Carpenter & Anthony Burch

Artist: Jorge Corona

Jack finds out that it wasn’t a buxom blonde he came to save but David Lo Pan. Jack tries to kill him and almost falls on his own knife but Lo Pan saves him. Seems he needs Jack and his truck to get him across the country to San Francisco. He tells how he was overjoyed that Ching was freed and now on Earth. He looked forward to serving him but Ching was not happy with Lo Pan. All he accomplished in Ching’s name was creep after green-eyed women and get himself killed by a man with a mullet. So he makes Lo Pan mortal and sentences him to the Hellpocylipse. Lo Pan needs Jack’s truck which is the only one left in the world to get him to San Francisco to defeat Ching.

Jack decides he wants nothing to do with him and kicks him back into the hole to Hell. Then gets in his truck and drives off. He comes on a blond woman and her gang. They think that Jack is some great hero for having a truck and welcome him. Only later someone comes bearing the picture of who released Ching. When they find out it was Jack they tie him above a face in the ground and lower him to be eaten. Lo Pan comes and rescues Jack and gets him to agree to take him across the Sea of Fire that separates the country.

I love this series. Jack Burton is such a total idiot who completely has no awareness of his stupidity. Yet there is something very likable about the guy. We find out that Lo Pan didn’t get the reception that he was expecting from his god. The dialogue is just spot on hilarious and the story is very engaging. I look forward to Jack and Lo Pan’s quest to save the world.



Writers: John Carpenter and Anthony Burch

Artist: Jorge Corona

Jack Burton is an old man now living in a small Florida town. He is the only one there and it is surrounded by fire. He spends his days eating, drinking and looking at porn. We find out from a flashback that Jack accidentally released Ching Dai the Demon God of the East. For a reward he is placed in a save area that magically generates stuff as the rest of the world goes to Hell. This existence gets a bit boring and one day he picks up a voice on the CB. A young attractive woman needs help. So Jack gets in the Pork Chop Express and drives through the flame wall. He finds himself in a hellish landscape. The woman on the CB tells him that Ching Dai united the world of the living with the underworld of the dead.

The voice leads him to a hole that enters the Hell of Minor Discomforts. A little green creature runs this. It has someone getting static shock from a door handle. A guy getting a text message from a girl saying “Okay” which he doesn’t know what it means and a guy at a restaurant who after getting his meal says “you too” when told to enjoy it. Naturally Jack is not impressed with this namby-pamby Hell. He tells the text guy that the girl isn’t into him. The restaurant guy to man up and kicks open the static shock door. The creature is horrified that someone has absolutely no shame so this hell has no effect on Jack.

He continues on to the next level which is the Hell for Dudes who Creep on Women. A horseman is about to creep on a woman when he was interrupted. Jack tosses his knife at the creature but misses and it imbeds itself hilt first in the wall. Then Jack trips and knocks the horseman into the knife blade head first. He finds that the woman he came to rescue isn’t a buxom Chinese blonde woman between 18-25 but Lo Pan.

Big Trouble in Little China is probably my second favorite Carpenter movie. Finally got around to reading this. I feel I may have missed a series before it that shows why Jack released Ching Dai. Yet the exposition at the beginning tells everything the reader needs to know. This is a Jack who is in his sixties but still the same lovable screwup who comes out on top. It helps that Carpenter is writing this and it has started out strong.