Writer: Max Bemis
Artist: Rodney Buchemi
Belit comes alive and rises from her watery grave. She finds some mermaids and asks where a lass can get properly fucked. They point to the north. She arrives at a tavern and takes some meek bard to bed. He finds out she is the famous pirate Belit brought back to life. Belit is pissed to be resurrected from the dead and makes it her goal to find out why. She gets a pirate ship and captures Valeria to trade with another for a wizard that can help her. Only the wizard turns on her and conjures a giant cobra. Cannons destroy it and Belit takes care of the treacherous guy who turned on her. She offers Valeria a chance to join her.
By Robert E, Howard
An article from Howard on the history of the Hyborian age.
Belit and Valeria are two of Howard’s greatest female creations. It is amazing nobody thought of bringing these two together before. Unfortunately, they gave Max Bemis the job of writing it. He has to be the worst writer there ever was. He singlehandedly destroyed the Atari stories that Dynamite was going to do with his atrocious Centipede. He clearly doesn’t understand any of the characters. I knew when it starts off with Belit asking where she can get fucked this was not going well. Belit is a crude sex starved lout. Valeria is a kind of Jack Sparrow clone. All the dialogue is super crude with f bombs and talking about penis size. I have never seen this in any Howard adaptation over the decades and it is sad to see it here.
The only positive thing is the art is good and they included an interesting part of an essay that Howard wrote.
One thought on “BELIT & VALERIA SWORDS VS SORCERY #1”
Oh man, that blows. I hope they do a better one with the two of them some day.
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