BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA OLD MAN JACK #1

“Untitled”

Writers: John Carpenter and Anthony Burch

Artist: Jorge Corona

Jack Burton is an old man now living in a small Florida town. He is the only one there and it is surrounded by fire. He spends his days eating, drinking and looking at porn. We find out from a flashback that Jack accidentally released Ching Dai the Demon God of the East. For a reward he is placed in a save area that magically generates stuff as the rest of the world goes to Hell. This existence gets a bit boring and one day he picks up a voice on the CB. A young attractive woman needs help. So Jack gets in the Pork Chop Express and drives through the flame wall. He finds himself in a hellish landscape. The woman on the CB tells him that Ching Dai united the world of the living with the underworld of the dead.

The voice leads him to a hole that enters the Hell of Minor Discomforts. A little green creature runs this. It has someone getting static shock from a door handle. A guy getting a text message from a girl saying “Okay” which he doesn’t know what it means and a guy at a restaurant who after getting his meal says “you too” when told to enjoy it. Naturally Jack is not impressed with this namby-pamby Hell. He tells the text guy that the girl isn’t into him. The restaurant guy to man up and kicks open the static shock door. The creature is horrified that someone has absolutely no shame so this hell has no effect on Jack.

He continues on to the next level which is the Hell for Dudes who Creep on Women. A horseman is about to creep on a woman when he was interrupted. Jack tosses his knife at the creature but misses and it imbeds itself hilt first in the wall. Then Jack trips and knocks the horseman into the knife blade head first. He finds that the woman he came to rescue isn’t a buxom Chinese blonde woman between 18-25 but Lo Pan.

Big Trouble in Little China is probably my second favorite Carpenter movie. Finally got around to reading this. I feel I may have missed a series before it that shows why Jack released Ching Dai. Yet the exposition at the beginning tells everything the reader needs to know. This is a Jack who is in his sixties but still the same lovable screwup who comes out on top. It helps that Carpenter is writing this and it has started out strong.

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