THE DESTROYER #5

“The Fist of Gallah”
Writer: Will Murray
Artists: Lee Weeks and Chris Ivy

The country in on alert because the nation of Ireanistan is upset over a bad book of poetry that basically calls the ayatollah a fink. They have vowed an unstoppable missile with a nuclear warhead in retaliation. Instead of a flying missile it is the Fist of Gallah a huge vehicle that leaves a barn in Mexico with two suicide drivers who are willing to die for Gallah and Bislam. The vehicle plows through everything. Even the tanks of the National Guard can’t stop it. Unfortunately the two drivers are not the sharpest pencils. They forget to bring a map. Luckily for them they manage to ask a passing hippy in his van the way. Then they drive the hippy off the road.

So CURE decides to sent Remo. First he has to be taught by Chiun how to tip a vehicle. Chiun manages to flip over a speeding bus then flip it back. It is all about finding the center. Remo though just doesn’t get it but learns how to jump on top of the bus. So Remo goes out and jumps on top of the traveling vehicle. It is just hours away from Quincy, Massachusetts the home of author William Pierce. Just before they enter one of the terrorists has to go to the bathroom. The other doesn’t want to stop since they will be dead in a moment. The other is insistent since he doesn’t want to enter paradise with wet pants.

So when he gets out Remo knocks him out and takes his place with the head covering. So they drive on until they reach a drawbridge that was lifted. So Remo acts and breaks the crank that was to set off the explosion. He tries to reach for his pistol but the other drives the vehicle into the river. It continues going as the two escape. Remo pushes the terrorist under the wheels which grind him into the riverbed. The world is saved once again.

“How Remo Came to Sinanju”
Writer: Will Murray
Artist: Don Perlin

Chiun is writing his memoirs of his experiences. He has a fanciful take on his training with Remo. That he is forced to take this job to teach a dumb white American the arts of Sinanju. While writing he catches Remo coming back with a bucket of fried chicken wings. Thus another punishment for eating dead chicken and burned cow meat.

This series just keeps getting better with each issue. Now the names are slightly changed I guess to not offend a certain country and religion but its very obvious what they mean so I don’t get what the point was. The Iranian fatwah against Salmon Rusdie was in the news at that time so this was a clear satire about it. There is a lot of humor especially from the dumb suicide drivers One says he would kill the other if they weren’t going to die soon. Also the whole stopping for a pee break was priceless. The continued interactions between Chiun and Remo continues to be the main draw for this series. While Chiun is always acting with contempt we get a brief moment where Chiun is actually admitting to himself that his pupil shows great promise. Remo himself is no longer trying to escape and has learned much already so this relationship is growing.

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